Before I start, there are four categories of people living in Nigeria.
1. Very rich: if you’re in this category, it is either your father is Dangote or is a friend of Dangote. You will rarely experience the disadvantages of living in NAIJA because you have a Ferrari, or even Lamborghini to take you to work to and fro. Wait what am I saying? You have a private jet to take you back home after work because you don’t want to meet traffic. You might be wondering where this private jet will land. There’s no problem because the private jet will land in what they call their “garden” that is big enough to host The Next. FIFA World Cup.
2. Rich: if you’re in this category, you’re living an average but comfortable life although you still get to suffer the disadvantages of living in NAIJA. When you are not using your car, it’s either because there’s fuel subsidy or you don’t want to meet traffic because you don’t have a private jet to take you to your destination. At least you have a choice. Some people don’t.
3. Poor: if you’re in this category, God is the only one that’s keeping you alive. For you to even survive with the little you have. It’s a miracle. The only source of light in the night is your candle and the only thing that entertains you and your family is the black and white television or old radio you inherited from your great grandfather or even forefathers.
4. Very poor: if you’re in this category, you’re begging for your life to be taken because there’s no point of living. You know the saying “when life gives you lemons, you make lemonades” life did not manage to give you palm kernels to even make palm oil not to talk of lemonades. Your only source of light in the night is the moon and stars. If you can even afford garri and groundnuts, it’s a miracle.
Now the disadvantages of living in NAIJA
1. Transport: we all know the famous danfo buses like they call it. The look alone will discourage you from riding in it. It even looks like Ebola itself. Before you enter, there’s struggle and after you enter, the struggle does not end. Nobody wants to wait their turn to enter. As long as they finally get to their destination on time, they don’t care. Even when you’re inside the bus. A seat meant for five will eventually become a seat meant for ten. That’s not all, the conductors like Nigerians call it will spit on you just for you to pass money from the back plus their armpit that can almost swallow your head is like toilet that hasn’t been flushed in ages. You decide to hold your breath so you won’t inhale something awful that can spoil your ability to smell forever, if worse, DIE.
2. Light: the famous NEPA or PHCN as we call them has caused us to import generators, adding to our expenses. Nigeria is a place where you don’t get the service you paid for unless it’s by force. It is only the “AGBEROS” (a taxi or bus tout ( hence) a street thug or small-time extortionist)
To be continued….